Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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