Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I think I just sharted jello shots
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
