just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Randomize
