He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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