its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Randomize
