i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
