if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
