If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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