As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
We need to get me chipped asap
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
