so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Someone shattered a urinal.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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