I feel like I'm in dance class right now
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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