I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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