Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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