You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
