He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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