when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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