this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
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