omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
