woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
