On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
