come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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