If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
false alarm, still single
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
