Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize