yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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