You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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