The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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