I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
