he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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