I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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