my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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