I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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