Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
