I want to stick my p in your. b.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize