My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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