WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
