Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize