I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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