Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
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