I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
thus making me awesome and them whores
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
