He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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