Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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