its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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