i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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