Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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