She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
