i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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