so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
