the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
