So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize