it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
