I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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