Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
We smell like vodka and hangover
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