Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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