i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
