My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
