arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
