Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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