If i come over, it means nothing
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
