You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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