i already hear my dad disowning me
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
