The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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